New out look!!

So I've been struggling lately with feeling down and anxious all at the same time. I've been so tired with home therapy, house cleaning (have to keep the house clean so therapists can work with Zeke), plus it seems that we have had so many appointments lately that I just feel so busy! I know that feeling down has had a lot to do with being tired but it is discouraging to barely get 30 minutes of work done to then have to sit down and rest. I've been really watching my feet and hands because they have been swelling when I do to much. So Dang if I get alot done and Dang if I don't! LOL

I've been really anxious about the whole baby here soon thing. I have been consistantly measuring 1-2 weeks ahead of schedule but when I measured 3-4 weeks ahead this last time the doctor ordered an ultrasound. So next thursday I'm hoping to get a cute face shot of my cutie. I pray that she is just sitting high rather than being really big. I guess having her ahead of schedule would be okay, but I'd love it if she waited till Zeke's last week of school. I'm anxious because I worked at the hospital I delivered in with both kids, so I knew the policies and all the nurses, and in fact I picked my room with both kids (they were both born in the same room, cool huh!!) and I got to pick my nurse. So my nurse and I had discussed ahead of time what I wanted and they knew my birth plan. Which basically is I want to be told if they are going to "grope" any where, I want to be told everything that's going on: if my blood pressure is sky high let me know and I'll be a good girl and stay sitting or laying down, if the baby is in distress I want to know. I'm much more complient when I know what's going on. Also I am not against pain meds, in fact I love pain meds, I just don't want to not feel when I need to push (like my epidural with Zeke) or drugged up (like with the IV meds with Kizzy), This is going to really boil down to Brigham and me focusing on my breathing. I tend to not breath when I'm in pain, which in essence causes more pain. So Brigham is going to help me not hyperventalate this time. I still will have meds but I'm hoping for not a ton of them. I don't know why it makes me anxious this time to go to EIRMC, I guess it has a lot to do with control. I like to be in control of my little world. Oh, well maybe I'm suppose to learn something! LOL

So about my new outlook, I love Grey's Anatomy and this last episode Merideth's surgery was stolen by her husband and she was getting really upset about it. Another surgical resident told her "Be a Who" and she was confused. "Be like a Who in Whoville. When the Grinch stole Christmas, they came out and sang anyway. They didn't let Christmas being stolen ruin their day." (I paraphrased) But what a good outlook. So now my new thing is "Be Like a Who!"