Dark Clouds Go Away!

I think the family has noticed that I've been a bit of a grouch lately. Since coming home from my family's house I have been struggling with a dash of depression. I keep feeling like I'm not good enough or that there is a huge dark cloud not allowing me to be happy about my self. Well, enough!! I am taking a stand! No more dark clouds and no more unhappy thoughts!! I'm bound and determined to make my life happy. No one can tell me to be happy. And no one can wave a magic wand and make me happy. It's a choice that you have to make. And darn it, I'm going to do it. Look out world here I come!!

Tired of being an adult!

I think one of the hardest things about being an adult is acting like one. I really struggle with this sometimes. I am one of those people who just is a little to blunt and outspoken so I end up saying things I really shouldn't have said. One of the arts of acting like an adult is have control over what you say. I really struggled this weekend. I really just wanted to yell and tantrum and have my feelings heard. It took alot of control to realize that I needed to act like an adult and set boundries, watch what I say, and stick to what I say. I'm not saying I did well this weekend but I sure tried.

What a weekend. We went to Caldwell, Idaho to visit my Dad and to help my sister move out of my mom's house. Things didn't go as planned. My sister is going to stay at my mom's house. It was very emotionally hard to have thing not work out. Things were said that were hurtful and rough to all that supported my sister.I hope things work out for her and the promises that where made are kept.

But regardless of that, we got to hang out with my Dad and Marsha. It was fun going to the zoo with them. Kizzy loved the monkeys and Zeke was just not feeling good. He ended up going through 5 daipers and was not as wild as he would have been. My dad is so great with my kids. Kizzy and him love to pick on eachother and play. Marsha loved playing with the kids too. Zeke also was great with Grandpa. It has taken alot of time to get Zeke and my dad to be able to sit and enjoy each other. I enjoyed seeing my dad, it was nice to just relax and have fun.

Kizzy and the Camera

Just thought I'd post a few pictures that Kizzy and I took today. She found our camera. She absolutlely loves to take pictures. Zeke loves the camra too. We have a ton of pictures of both of them trying to take pictures of themselves. But here are a few we played with this morning.

Playground

Friday we went to Tauphtus park. (Yes I know I'm spelling it wrong!) They have a handicap park, what I mean is handicap accessible. So they have swings, toys, sensory items, musical toys (a metal xylophone the kids can hit), it's all built and made especially for kids with physical and mental disabilites. It is an extremely fun park. One of Zeke's favorite things is the blue cushion they have underneath. So instead of sand or cedar chips they have this foamy pad thing. Zeke loves to run around without his shoes on.

Kizzy and Zeke loved being at the park. Kizzy loves the sand. She had it everywhere by the time we were done. Zeke had a ton of fun climbing. He gets told no climbing so much that when he's able to he just is a monkey. We had to bribe them that we would go eat if we left. Zeke still had some tears though.

The woes and sorrows of a four year old!

Monday and Tuesday were the best. Mom didn't have to go to work because Dr. Vance was sick. Mom asked if I wanted to go to Bekah's (my daycare) or to go home with mom. I wanted to go home with mom. I'm the "cleaner bee" this week in daycare so I helped mom by being a cleaner bee. We put on our aprons and washed the dishes. Mom lets me wash them then we put them in the dishwasher. I got to put the soap in and push the on button. We did laundry, mom carries the basket down stairs then I got to put the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I got hungry so I helped mom make chicken nuggets, ramen and ketchup. (Ketchup goes with everything right!) I was tired of helping so mom made me a deal. First I could pick a movie then mom could pick one. (I only wanted to watch Pokemon and mom wanted to watch Ariel) But I was sneaky I picked a Pokemon DVD that has lots of little Pokemon shows on it that lasts 3-4 hours. So I would go play with toys and watch Pokemon while mom cleaned. We had lots of fun. Mom played toys with me and she also was silly with me.

Wednesday I was sad. Dr. Vance was better and wanted mom to go back to work. I was sad, I loved being with mom. I cried and cried when mom dropped me off at Bekah's. But mom promised to spend lots of time with me on Saturday, we are going to fly our Pokemon Kites that the Easter Bunny brought us, if it's not raining.

Easter Egg Hunt!!

Sorry I didn't get these posted earlier!! We had an easter egg hunt at the Christensen Farms in Firth, Idaho. It was a lot of fun. We had told Zeke that he needed to pick up Eggs without realizing that they had other things (candy, capri suns, toys) on the ground as well. Zeke would bypass all the "Stuff" to get to eggs. He didn't get as many as Kizzy and Aryiah (Burkam's daughter) but he had a ton of fun. Kizzy was alot of fun too, she wanted to show us everything instead of picking up more candy and eggs.

Thanks Marsha for the cute hair bows Kizzy's wearing!!

Grandmas and Grandpas

What would we do without them?? They bake us cookies, cook, help us when we need saved from our parents!!

I'm grateful for Anna and her willingness to watch my kids when they are sick. She always says that her grandchildren are perfect, and when we laugh at her she points to the wall where Zeke has drawn and she says "Well he drew on the wall perfectly!" She willingly takes Zeke when he isn't the easiest kid to watch. I'm grateful for Wayne and his hugs and excitement that he shows my kids. He has made such a huge effort with Zeke to get Zeke to hug and sit by him.

I'm grateful for my Dad and for the constant comfort he is to me. When I'm stressed out or overwhelmed with my kids he's always reminding me what a good mom I am and how much I've changed. He also is so good with Zeke when he's around. Man you should see Dad and Kizzy! It is so funny, Kizzy will purposely do things to get Grandpa to react and Dad does the same back to her. They are going to be such great friends I think. I'm grateful for Marsha and her unselfishness and her enthusiasm that is contagious. She is always doing great things for my kids and is just wonderful.

I'm also grateful for my mom and for what she is able to do. She always askes about the kids and has great ideas.

What would we do without the Love and Support that these wonderful people are in our lives!! Thank you all!!

Sick!

We have been sick the past 2 weeks. I guess I mean Zeke and I have been sick. Zeke gets these awful high temperatures that also increase his seizure activity. We have been snotty and conjested and just miserable. Awful!! Mine got better after some antibiotics but Zeke's pediatrition won't put him on any because he probably doesn't need them? I don't know I'm not a doctor but I wish he would get better.

Kizzy keeps trying to join the fun and cough just because and tell us she's sick too. It's kinda funny. Brigham has also stayed healthy thankfully.

Master and Commander

Never in my life would I ever admit to being a girl. I think that some girls just are big wimps! "I can do whatever a guy could do" has always been one of my biggest motos of my life. It seems that this big macho girl has become a bit of a wimp. I don't like yucky things! Vomit, big bugs, snot/sniffing, mice, snakes, you know yucky things. It makes me realize that I have started to be more of a girl since I have a macho man now. He is the master of yucky things.

Since moving to the country we have had our share of mice and big bugs, I just don't handle those well. I am truely thankful that my husband is man enough to handle those things. He seems to smile at me and you can see the thought go through his head that I'm a wimp. But hey, one way of looking at it is I'm beeing needy and wanting to keep him around.

We all have our share of yucky things, some men hate poopy diapers and we as girls deal with those. As girls we wipe the snotty noses when kids are sick, we scrub the bathrooms, we do the gross laundry, so really how girly are we? I'd like to think this macho/girly girl has not only gained a few more yucky things that she can't handle but become more macho about some things as well.

Our Garden

We are so excited to have a garden this year. This is the first house we have been in that we could grow a garden. It's exciting to think about planting things, we are planning to grow: corn, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, watermelon, zucchini, pumpkins, radishes, carrotts, peas, green beans, lettuce, and some herbs. If we can find onion bulbs we'll start them as well.

We have been really looking at what Anna's doing and copying. The wheather can't seem to make up it's mind. It seems to want to snow one minute and then be windy and rainy the next. We have had several really nice days where it gets in the high 40's and is sunny but it's still to wet to do anything with the garden. Anna says that most likely we will be planting over Memorial weekend. We are super excited.

We have started our peppers and tomatoes and most of our herbs by seed and they are getting really big! I'm super excited to see them grow. We are trying to set money aside so that we can buy canning materials. I personally don't own a canner of any sort or any jars! So that is one of our goals this summer. We are planning on making some salsa, possibly some canned tomatoes, spaghetti sauce. If we can find another freezer for a decent price we are talking about blanching alot of our veggies (peas, greenbeans, ect) and freezing them. I personally like frozen veggies to canned but I also haven't done this before either and so we will see what I actually do with them.